Linebacker Mike Vrabel of the NFL’s Kansas City Chiefs was arrested yesterday for stealing bottles of alcohol from a deli in an Indiana Casino. Awesome.
I’m so tired of hearing about this pro-athlete who accidentally shot someone, and this one who beat up his girlfriend, again, and this one who failed a drug test. There are not enough casino-deli-alcohol-robberies. This incident is entertainingly ridiculous for a variety of 
reasons: First, Mike Vrabel is one of the NFL’s good guys, a former New England Patriot and universally respected around the league. Vrabel plays a prominent role in the players’ union, he’s even one of the 10 players named in the players’ anti-trust lawsuit against the league, what is he doing getting mixed up in something like this? Second, what casino has a deli in it? A deli? Is there a Jewish casino in Indiana? Third, Vrabel was forced to put up $600 in bail. I just find that funny. How many minutes do you think Vrabel actually spent in jail before post the 15 year professional athlete found the 600 bucks to pay his own bail? 2? 5 at the most.
With Miguel Cabrerea drunkenly taking a swig of whiskey in the driver’s seat of his car in front of a Florida deputy and now this, 2011 has been a pretty good year for ridiculous athlete crimes. (Off The Bench does not condone drinking and driving. It is a very serious crime that kills many innocent people every year. The fact that Miguel Cabrera’s recent drinking and driving incident was so friggin’ funny does not change that you should not drink and drive. Even if you somehow make it even more hilarious than Cabrerea. Which you probably can’t) It still has a long way to go, however, to catch 2008 when Plaxico Burress Shot Himself In The Leg thereby creating the mother of all hilarious athlete crimes.
-Max Frankel
