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The Cuban Misallocation-of-funds Crisis

The Los Angeles Dodgers were so busy being really good at baseball the past few months that one could almost forget Ned Colletti was still the GM.  But then they fell out of first place in the West, and Colletti just couldn’t bear it any longer.  So he did something Ned Colletti is prone to do.  The difference this time?  The backing didn’t come from a haggard, mid-affair, pre-divorce Frank McCourt.  It came (will come?) from the impending goliath of a TV rights deal the Dodgers have in the works.  With that kind of cash, you’d think Colletti could satisfy himself with the likes of a proven major leaguer.  Not Ned.

Here’s what definitely went through Ned Colletti’s mind leading up to this deal: Falling into a first place tie is pretty much Communism, right?  Right.  Ned Colletti is a great American who will fight the Red Menace with whatever resources he has.  Right now, Ned Colletti has a ton of resources.  And what better way for Ned Colletti to stick it to Fidel than to encourage future defections by signing an out-of-work kid who had a good season in Cuba (.330, 17 HR) eighteen months ago?  Excellent plan Ned Colletti.  Thanks, Ned Colletti.

What we know is limited.  His name is Yasiel Puig.  It’s a cool name.  It’s fun to say.  So he has that going for him.  He also now has $42 million going for him (54 with his $12 mil bonus).  He’s 21, and hasn’t played in a year an a half because he was busy escaping.  Oh, he also hasn’t been allowed into the country yet.  (He’s in Mexico, as opposed to the traditional Dominican purgatory elected by most of his predecessors.)  To be fair, we can reasonable assert that he is very good at baseball, evidenced by his physique–he’s descibed as a Bo Jackson-type athlete–and above average stats in his lone Cuban season.

This guy will probably be a decent to good major leaguer.  Think Yoenis Cespedes, whose career Cuban line of .319/.403/.584 with an average of 21 hr per 90 games, has become a MLB line of .283/.346/.509 with a projected 18-20 hr.  The issue is the guaranteed money, sight (nearly) unseen.  At least Cespedes put up eight consistent seasons from which to judge (and he’s only making $2 mil more per season).  This kid is a mystery.  But that’s Ned Colletti for you.

Let’s switch the weather up and head to the windy city for a look at how things like this can be done a whole lot better.  Enter executive Renaissance Man Theo Epstein.  Though guilty of his own share of ill-advised over-expenditures in Boston, his most recent signing just put Colletti to shame on the Cuban front.  The Cubs locked up their own pre-pubescent Cuban slugger in 6′ 3″, 20 year old Jorge Soler.  Like Puig, he hasn’t played in quite a while what with all the clandestine travel neccessitated by his circumstances, but the kid can hit.  There are no statistics available, but Keith Law of ESPN.com stated Soler would have been a top 5 draft pick if eligible.  While nine years for a top 5 pick is excessive, 3.3 mil a year is not.

For the sake of continued Ned-bashing, lets compare the contracts.  Puig is 21, signed for $42 million with $12 million additional in a signing bonus, for a grand total of $54 million over 7 years.  Soler is 20, signed for $30 million and a $6 million bonus, for a grand total $36 million over 9 years.  It doesn’t take Rain Man to figure this one out.

In closing, Ned Colletti sucks.

–Ari Glantz

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