Roster of the Month, Harry Potter style
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It’s Harry Potter Week here at Off the Bench Baseball. This is the only place you’ll find that celebrates the unlikely crossover between baseball and the wizarding world. This installment of Roster of the Month embraces our Harry Potter theme. What follows is a 25-man roster of current and former major league players who are reminiscent of characters from the books and movies.
Starting Lineup
Our infield features all four Hogwarts houses.
- C Pedro Sever(us)ino: The Nationals’ backup catcher might not hit .200, but he’s one tough potions master.
- 1B Aubrey Huff(lepuff): In his 13-year career, Huff “badgered” pitchers for 242 home runs.
- 2B Ryan (Sly)Theri(n)ot: Like a true Slytherin, Theriot stole at least 20 bases each season from 2007-2010.
- 3B Robin (Ra)Ven(claw)tura: Ventura collected five Gold Gloves, but failed to show Ravenclaw wisdom as a manager. He helped the White Sox to a 375-435 record from 2012-2016.
- SS Alfredo Griffin(dor): Griffin, the 1979 AL Rookie of the Year, spent 18 seasons in MLB. He may have some problems with his keystone partner though.
- LF Brandon Nim(bus 2000)mo: Nimmo is “one of the Nimbus Racing Broom Company’s most successful models.” That explains his 150 OPS+ last year.
- CF (A)Vada (Kedavra) Pinson: Pinson was an unforgivable curse on the rest of the NL in the 1960s. The Reds outfielder led the league in hits, doubles, and triples twice each.
- RF Adam (Death) Eat(er)on: The starting right fielder for the Washington Nationals achieved a .394 on-base percentage last year with the Dark Mark up his sleeve.
- DH Mike Lum(os): While the 1970s was a dark period for the Braves, Lum was there to light the way.
Bench
Two spells and three famous Slytherins comprise our bench.
- OF Albert Al(oha)mora: The Cubs’ speedy center fielder can “unlock” the route to any fly ball.
- 2B Horace (Slughorn) Clarke: Clarke enjoyed the company of several famous Yankees in the 1960s and 1970s. Maybe they’d have won more games if he cut back on the crystallized pineapple.
- C Luis Exp(ecto Patronum)osito: Exposito took the form of a Baltimore Oriole in 2012.
- SS J.T. (Tom Marvolo) Riddle: Riddle couldn’t help the Marlins find their way out of the chamber of secrets last year.
- UI Doug (Le)Strange: Strange spent parts of nine seasons in the majors before the dementors finally caught him.
Rotation
Watch out for the #4 starter!
- LHP Rube(us Hagrid) Waddell: This turn-of-the-century Hall of Famer looms large. It’s his second Roster of the Month appearance, although under very different circumstances.
- RHP (Min)Erv(a)in (McGonagall) Santana: Despite losing much of 2018 to injuries, let’s hope this venerable starter ages as well as the transfiguration professor.
- LHP Bud (Sirius) Black: While he enjoyed a 15-year pitching career, the current Rockies manager has been arguably more successful in the mentor/father-figure role.
- RHP Edinson Vol(demort)quez: Due to Tommy John surgery, no one spoke Volquez’ name last season.
- LHP Ted Lilly (Potter): Much like Lily Potter gave her life to save her son, Ted Lilly gave 15 seasons to five franchises. Okay, maybe it’s not the same thing.
Bullpen
Including a Potter, a Granger, and a We(a)sley.
- RHP Jeremy Acc(io)ardo: MLB managers used the summoning spell for Accardo 262 times over eight seasons (or maybe just the bullpen phone).
- RHP Al(bus Dumbeldore) Alburquerque: Al Alburquerque sounds enough like a wizard name all by itself. He was headmaster of 291 strikeout victims in 245 innings.
- LHP Dick Dra(c)go: Drago was a starter from 1969-1973 before getting sent to the bullpen. At that point, he likely proclaimed, “Wait until my father hears of this!”
- RHP Wayne (Hermione) Granger: Granger was arguably the best reliever of his year from 1969-1971 with the Reds.
- RHP Nels Potter: Reminding us that the Potters are an old wizard bloodline, this Potter pitched primarily for the Philadelphia Athletics and St. Louis Browns in the 1940s.
- LHP We(a)sley Wright: Wright was a likable supporting character for the Astros from 2008-2013.
-Daniel R. Epstein
