Season Previews

Previewing All 30 MLB Teams With a 90s Song

The headline says it all. Sometimes the correlation between team and song is obvious, other times less so. Regardless, nothing ruins song lyrics more than over-explanation, so make whatever connections you choose.

AL East

  • Baltimore Orioles- “Hurt” by Nine Inch Nails- I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel, I focus on the pain, the only thing that’s real
  • Boston Red Sox- “You Oughta Know” by Alanis Morrisette- And I’m here, to remind you, of the mess you left when you went away, it’s not fair, to deny me, of the cross I bear that you gave to me
  • New York Yankees- “The World is Yours” by Nas- Stash loot in fly clothes, burning dollars to light my stoge, walk the blocks with a bop, checkin’ dames, plus the games people play, bust the problems of the world today, it’s mine, it’s mine, it’s mine, who’s world is it?
  • Tampa Bay Rays- “Black” by Pearl Jam– I know someday you’ll have a beautiful life, I know you’ll be a star, in someone else’s sky, but why, why, why can’t it be me? Can’t it be mine?
  • Toronto Blue Jays- “The Middle” by Jimmy Eat World- Live right now, just be yourself, it doesn’t matter if it’s good enough, for someone else, it just takes some time, little girl you’re in the middle of a ride, everything, everything will be just fine, everything will be alright

NL East

  • Atlanta Braves- “Scar Tissue” by Red Hot Chili Peppers- With the birds, I share this lonely view
  • Miami Marlins- “C.R.E.A.M.” by Wu Tang Clan- Cash Rules Everything Around Me, C.R.E.A.M., get the money, dollar dollar bill, y’all
  • New York Mets- “Mo’ Money Mo’ Problems” by Notorious B.I.G.- I don’t know what they want from me, it’s like the more money we come across, the more problems we see
  • Philadelphia Phillies- “Don’t Go Chasing Waterfalls” by TLC- Don’t go chasing waterfalls, just stick to the rivers and the lakes that you’re used to, I know that you’re gonna have it your way or nothing at all, but I think you’re moving too fast
  • Washington Nationals- “Tubthumping” by Chumbawumba- I get knocked down, but I get up again, you’re never gonna keep me down

AL Central

  • Chicago White Sox- “Sell Out” by Reel Big Fish- I didn’t ask when we get paid, I quit my day job anyway, I guess it doesn’t matter, I guess it doesn’t matter anymore… sell out with me oh yeah, sell out with me tonight, the record company’s gonna give me lots of money, and everything’s gonna be alright
  • Cleveland Indians- “Linoleum” by NOFX- I’ve got pockets full of Kleenex and lint and holes, where everything important to me just seems to fall right down my leg, and onto the floor, my closest friend linoleum
  • Detroit Tigers- “Serve the Servants” by Nirvana- Teenage angst has paid us well, now we’re bored and old, self-appointed judges judge, more than they have sold
  • Kansas City Royals- “Bombs Over Baghdad” by Outkast- Don’t pull the thang out unless you plan to bang, don’t plan to bang unless you plan to hit something
  • Minnesota Twins- “Boombastic” by Shaggy- She call me Mr. Boombastic, telly-fantastic, she touch me on the back, she say I’m Mr. Romantic, she call me fantastic, touch me on the back, she say I’m Mr. Ro…

NL Central

  • Chicago Cubs- “Sweater Song” by Weezer- If you want to destroy my sweater, hold this thread as I walk away, watch me unravel, I’ll soon be naked, lying on the floor, I’ve come undone
  • Cincinnati Reds- “I’m Not a Player” by Bug Pun- I’m not a player, I just crush a lot
  • Milwaukee Brewers- “The Distance” by Cake- The sun has gone down and the moon has gone up, and long ago somebody left with the cup, but he’s striving and driving and hugging the turns, and thinking of someone for whom he still burns
  • Pittsburgh Pirates- “1979” by Smashing Pumpkins– Shakedown 1979, cool kids never have the time, on a live wire right off the street, you and I should meet
  • St. Louis Cardinals- “I Like It, I Love It” by Tim McGraw- I like it, I love it, I try so hard, I can’t rise above it

AL West

  • Houston Astros- “I Saw the Sign” by Ace of Bass- I saw the sign, and it opened up my eyes, I saw the sign
  • Los Angeles Angels- “Santeria” by Sublime- I don’t practice Santeria, I ain’t got no crystal ball, I had a million dollars, but I, I spent it all
  • Oakland A’s- “Welcome to Paradise” by Green Day- Pay attention to the cracked streets and the broken homes, some call it slums, some call it nice, I wanna take you to a wasteland that I like to call my home, welcome to paradise
  • Seattle Mariners- “Don’t Speak” by No Doubt- Don’t speak, I know just what you’re saying, so please stop explaining, don’t tell me ’cause it hurts, don’t speak, I know what you’re thinking, I don’t need your reasons, don’t tell me ’cause it hurts
  • Texas Rangers- “Loser” by Beck- Soy un perdedor, I’m a loser baby

NL West

  • Arizona Diamondbacks- “Stand” by R.E.M.- Stand in the place where you live, now face north, think about direction, wonder why you haven’t before
  • Colorado Rockies- “Give Me One Reason” by Tracy Chapman- Give me one reason to stay here, and I’ll turn right back around, said I don’t wanna leave you lonely, you gotta make me change my mind
  • Los Angeles Dodgers- “Everlong” by Foo Fighters- If everything could ever be this real forever, if everything could ever be this good again, the only thing I’ll ever ask of you, you’ve gotta promise not to stop when I say when
  • San Diego Padres- “Hakuna Matata” by Timon and Pumbaa- It means no worries for the rest of our days, it’s our problem-free philosophy, hakuna matata.
  • San Francisco Giants- “Semi-Charmed Life” by Third Eye Blind- I want something else to get me through this semi-charmed kinda life

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